Every year, I write a reflection for myself, but it's only this year that I decided to post it online. Well, not all of my friends know that I write and have a blog, but the fact that I'm posting something here means I'm sharing a part of me to the public. It feels completely ingrained in me that I keep this practice. For someone who is introspective and overthinker everyday (hahaha), writing makes me feel additionally connected to the world and it really relaxes my psyche.
2020 was one of the hardest years, not just of my life, but of a lot of people. Ang daming planong di nangyari, lakad na di natuloy, at oportunidad na nagsara. I wasn't even able to visit my family in the province nor travel at least once. Parang all of a sudden, nag-pause lahat. I'm sure I'm not alone in this sentiment. Many of my friends lost their jobs, their businesses, their loved ones, nalungkot talaga ako para sa kanila. Some of my colleagues have fallen on hard times due to the industry going to halt and shifting completely. From layoffs and furloughs to paycuts and pay freezes, not to mention figuring out how to juggle remote work and daily lives during the pandemic, 2020 has changed professional life in profound ways. Yet, I'm so wildly grateful for my favors, and it's something I always keep at the forefront of my mind. I am healthy, my family is healthy, we eat three times a day, we don't have to change our lifestyle, and we have a job. Bottom-line, considering all that has happened, 2020 forced me to slow down and cherish the things and persons I have at the moment.
I close another year filled with gratitude for the opportunity to be here at all. I know a lot of people shouting that they hate 2020, but I still say thank you 2020, and thank you Lord.
Thank you Lord that in this situation, I got to spend more time with you and know that you are always in control. This season is also a master class in getting to know myself more, being resourceful, and gaining deeper knowledge and roots in which I came from. With soil seeped in faith, I grew in ways I never knew possible. I am grateful to have pushed beyond fear to allow integrity to flourish and lead amongst so much darkness and despair.
Onwards then, to 2021. Here's hoping life is most uphill, the books are mostly good, these days are mostly bright, and our time spent mostly amongst friends (when it's safe again). Thank you Lord for making a difficult year bearable.
To reboot, relax, and rediscover...
I wanted to make my first blog for 2021 a little bit inspirational so I used some of my vacation leaves carried over from last year to take a break, go somewhere peaceful, and write. I also started writing this intentionally a day before Valentines day to promote self-love to every single women out there. Pero joke lang. It just so happened that February 13th is a Saturday and I am treating myself a mocha latte, resting here in a cafe, writing this blog.
New year's resolution never went out of style. I want to be specific so I listed down the areas of my life I want to focus on this year.
1. Career
I want to believe that I am one of those few that are blessed to have the ideal work-life balance, a great relationship with the boss and co-workers, and a company that embraces wellness (di nga lang malaki ang sweldo hahaha, you really can't have it all at once). No job nor employer will ever be perfect. But if the positives outweighs the negatives, then you're ahead of many.
This year, I resolve to focus on my career. I will empty my cup to fill with more learnings and leadership. I will take risk in getting out of my comfort zone and not hesitating to grab an opportunity should it knocked. I resolve that every day and every pay day, I'll remember that God owns it all. He is the giver and provider of all things, and the very reason why I earn.
When I watched the Korean drama series Itaweon Class, the protagonist, Park Sae-royi once said "I go on a run after work in this neighborhood everyday and then I'll wake up the next day and work at the pub like any other day. Your like might seem boring and repetitive. But no one really knows what could happen tomorrow. Not a single day was predictable for me. Some days were tough and some days were sad. But something fun always come along every once in a while." Madami din talagang napupulot sa mga K-drama ehh. Sometimes I feel that I'm gonna work for the rest of my life and its gonna be too tiring, but I w as reminded that working is part of my journey to becoming a better person.
2. Family/Home
It's not easy thing to grow in a broken family, with two younger brothers to guide and support in behalf of our father. But still, my family is my home, my every reason, my life. During the pandemic, I appreciated them more.
I have friends working abroad who weren't able to go home due to travel restrictions. They haven't seen their families for over a year and no once can tell when the lockdown will be lifted for them to return to Philippines. It saddens me, even it's the story of other family. So I resolve to make the time spent with my family a quality time.
3. Ministry
I read in another blog that "committing to our faith in Christ is the basis of our existence and commitment to God will reinforce our other commitments." Our personal commitment to God is an ongoing process. It involves honestly assessing our direction in life.
Before the lockdown, going to church on every Sunday is sometimes hard, lalo sa tulad ko na nagcocommute papuntang kapilya. But my Sundays are my rest and my charging station so I can go on a week of working again. It's really such a big shift to temporarily not go to physical church during the outbreak of COVID-19. But I resolve that no virus will stop me from my ministry.
I miss my friends in the church. Thanks to the prevalence of technology, we can still gather even just virtually. The bible says "as iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other".
This year, I resolve to be a committed leader to my Vgroup. This resolution involves a lot of sacrifices but I see the long-term result. Kaya even at my busiest and loneliest day, I commit to make time for the Lord and for my sisters in Christ. By grace, kakayanin. Proverbs 16:3 says “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” I will make a commitment today and follow through that long-term commitment for a start of a more meaningful camaraderie.
4. Self.
I put this part on the last since, actually and as always, what I want is always the least priority. Ewan ko ba, ganun yata talaga pag breadwinner, yung satisfaction mo ay nasa kasiyahan ng iba. This morning, I caught myself staring blankly at the empty seat in front of me, which I wish is a business partner, a client, or a boyfriend enjoying the coffee with me. Sometimes, I can't help but compare my achievements to those who are of my age or same batch during college. At 26, yung iba may business na, may sariling bahay, may sasakyan, or manager na. Yung iba, ikinasal na din and they are financially (and spiritually) stable to raise a family. But then I shook myself out of that momentary bout and just opened my bible to have my daily devotion. It says in Habakkuk 2:3 that "If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay." At that moment, I was reminded that I am exactly where God wants me to be. He reminded me kung anong mindset and heart content ba dapat meron ako at this season of my life, and that is panghawakan ko ang timing Niya.
This year, I commit to love my self and not hinder my self in anything that is about to come. I resolve to make time for, and not be too hard on, myself. Time - this thing is very essential, lalo na pag single ka. Like habang nagkakape ako, sobrang naappreciate ko yung time ko mag-isa at gusto ko sanang i-capture to, kaso wala naman akong kasama. I have two option though, either magpapicture ako sa staff, or I'll just set my phone timer. Nag-rely na naman ako sa time and I chose the latter.
I want to thrive. I want to grow. But growth is not automatic. It takes an intentional commitment. I must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing.
I pray that whatever I do, I glorify God.
But I can't just pray like it depends on God. I also have to work like it depends on me. If we want God to do the supernatural, we've got to do the natural. So again, reboot, relax and rediscover.
No comments:
Post a Comment